A Precious Angel.

On Sunday morning one of our really good family friends and one of my sister's best friend gave birth to an angel.

A precious, perfect, and full term baby boy who was far to precious and a special spirit to our Father in Heaven that he was only meant to come here to get his body and return back home to await the wonderful day he is reunited with his loving mother and father.

When I found out on Sunday afternoon a flood of emotions and fears that I've kept locked in the back of my brain and memories of codes and sad endings I've seen and helped with at work came rushing to the surface. 

I was and still am deeply sadden by this and even though these parents are 7 to 8 years younger than I am, I was so excited that our babies would be only a couple months apart. I could see them planning at big family/friend events we were both at and enjoying each other's pictures of our babies on Facebook. I even pictured Little Miss with other babies who have recently been born or will soon be born to friends and family up there in Heaven before hand playing and being friends. My heart ached for them and then soon it was joined with a chocking fear of "What if?"

And ten minutes of not feeling Little Miss's active activity set my heart racing, fears burning, lump in your throat, and then came the sweet relief her sudden kicks, flips, rolls, and jabs that would bring tears to my eyes and a short calm to my heart and fears. 

I know things like this happen. I work in a field specifically with little ones and I've seen it. I've had to be there when this news was told to these parents or when the events were happening. I've shed thousands of tears right along with this parents who just moments or hours before where strangers and within moments or hours of that time I would most likely never see again. 

I've witnessed my own cousin go through losing twin boys and how it rock and strengthen us all in some way. And even though I know this is now where near the same as this or my cousin I've been at the receiving end of that news five times and have had to say goodbye what we hoped would be a joyous celebration of new life in a few months.

Hearing this news today struck me to my core and yes I know it's mostly because I'm pregnant and hormones are rapid and pregnant women can feel and fear things hundreds of times worse on an emotional level because of it. But it caused the 11 to 12 weeks left until Little Miss is here seem not only a lifetime away but that we have a dangerous uncharted mind field to walk through in at night, in a storm, with no guide whatsoever! It made those fears I have kept in the back of my mind locked up so real and scary!

But our Savior is such a sweet and tender wonderful man. My fears, though helped and calmed, by listening to her heart beat and feeling her move were almost gone by the two people you would think would be the ones in most need of his calming spirit and warm embrace.

That calm came from this precious angel's parents. The sweet couple who created him, happily awaited and loved watching him development, grow, and move inside his mother's womb. Who prepared like any new and excited parents and then waited like a child for Christmas morning. 

They celebrated his short life and beautiful life. They are mourning, yes like anyone in that place would be and I'm sure the grief and sadness they are feeling is indescribable but their eternal outlook is amazing, strong, and something for us all to hold on to.

They feel privileged to have been picked to be the parents of such a sweet spirit to our Father in Heaven. To a spirit so precious that they were not meant to be here on Earth and all that is in it. They know he is in the right place, where he is suppose to be, and they will be with him again because of their Temple Covenants. He will always be their sweet baby boy and that will never change. 

I know he is watching over them tonight as he will do every night until they are reunited. I know that every sweet spirit and sibling of his that comes down to join his family will be sent off with his love and all the excitement anyone can have and he will be such a blessing to everyone that has been touched by this family.

While this brings fears more to the surface I have faith in our Lord and I silently thank him every single day for this pregnancy and every time Little Miss moves, kicks, or flips I thank him for it. 

I love you Julie and Sterling and I know your baby boy is one of the cutest angels up there and will be such a blessing and guardian angel to us all.