Yesterday morning I woke up to severe pain in my upper abdomen and lots of cramping in the lower abdomen. Of course I was slightly alarmed but figured I would get up, go to the bathroom, drink some water, walk around, and see if that helped any.
I sat on the edge of the bed, took my prenatal vitamin, then stood up. As I stood up a horrible feeling or ripping or tearing rushed from the top of the left side of my abdomen to the lower left side of my abdomen and just as soon as this happened I got unbelievably lightheaded and immediately sat my shaky self back down.
It was at this moment that a fear I've had and been through before came flooding into every single cell in my body and as tears filled my eyes and my shaking got worse from the fear and pain I woke Ron up trying to keep the cracking of my voice at bay as well as not pass out.
As much as I hated it, I knew I had to go to the ER. I've been on this path before and it leads to there followed by heartbreak, tears, and ice cream that fails miserably at comforting me!
Ron got right up and ready and with 15 minutes we were at the ER and the doctor had come in to look at me and order an IV, fluids, meds, labs, pelvic exam, and both and external and internal ultrasound. He was an amazing doctor, so sweet and funny as he tried to calm my nerves and joke that I was lucky to get an ultrasound today before my scheduled one on Monday!
Ron and I laughed with him because oddly enough we were calmed by it but as soon as he left I tried to switch my brain and emotions into work mode to help me cope with it all and what news I could get. But deep down I offered up a prayer unlike others ones I have offered up in this situation before.
I thanked our Father and Heaven for allowing me the right that Ron and I could create life, for the pleasure and joy and I have had carrying this precious spirit and as much as I want to continue on that task and sacred mission I understand if this isn't the right time yet. I thanked him for my amazing husband and the support he never fails to give me. Then I asked for only one thing, comfort. Nothing more or less just his comfort for Ron and I. I ended it with my love to him and his son and for all he has blessed us with and that all good things are worth the wait and then thanked him for teaching me that.
When I ended my silent pray a warmth that I have only felt two times before this filled my entire body and even though the fear was still running amok on my senses it didn't seem nearly as bad or as heavy to bear.
So then began the waiting game while the tests, labs, and ultrasound was being done and reviewed. Shockingly this took about two hours which in ER land is an AMAZING time but of course it felt like four lifetimes and in the end I was frankly done with being poked, prodded, and having things stuck in places I would rather they not be!
Finally our bubbly doctor came in, took a seat on the stool next to the bed, and asked me if I wanted the good news or the bad news first. I suck in the air around me and fought hard to control all my emotions that those words brought flooding to the foreground of my mind and heart.
Of course I said bad news because you always get bad news first. He said well from your throwing up a good deal last night (see the Outback post before this one for that story!) you were dehydrated and you had a small cyst on your left ovary that ruptured but it's noting to be worried about because almost all of the free fluid from it your body has already absorbed.
He paused after this and I waited for him to tell me the rest of the bad news. But he looked up from a report sheet in his hand, smiled and said the good news is your pregnant! 6 weeks 5 days, your HCG levels are up and perfect for your gestation, and then he read off of the report some of the most sweetest words I have ever heard!
"A single LIVE intrauterine pregnancy with a crown - rump length of 7.6 mm has a fetal HEART RATE of 118 beats per minute. A 4.5 mm yolk sac is present.
Impression: Single LIVE intrauterine pregnancy at 6 weeks 5 days for an estimated date of delivery of 01/27/2014."
The doctored handed me the report and labs, said congratulations and once your fluids are done we will send you home, and then left the room.
An overwhelming love filled my heart and I offered up another silent prayer to our Father in Heaven thanking him for this wonderful blessing, for his trust in letting us continue this journey with this precious spirit, and for the comfort he provided. I expressed my love for him and his son and their plan and thanked him a hundred more times before ending the prayer.
The fear was gone and this overwhelming peace and assurance filled me as well as longed excitement instead of fear for my OB appointment and ultrasound tomorrow. Even though I still have almost 33 weeks to go until Baby Truex is here I feel so much peace about it now and I hope that it will continue until this pregnancy journey is over and I get to hold my precious baby in my arms!
I sat on the edge of the bed, took my prenatal vitamin, then stood up. As I stood up a horrible feeling or ripping or tearing rushed from the top of the left side of my abdomen to the lower left side of my abdomen and just as soon as this happened I got unbelievably lightheaded and immediately sat my shaky self back down.
It was at this moment that a fear I've had and been through before came flooding into every single cell in my body and as tears filled my eyes and my shaking got worse from the fear and pain I woke Ron up trying to keep the cracking of my voice at bay as well as not pass out.
As much as I hated it, I knew I had to go to the ER. I've been on this path before and it leads to there followed by heartbreak, tears, and ice cream that fails miserably at comforting me!
Ron got right up and ready and with 15 minutes we were at the ER and the doctor had come in to look at me and order an IV, fluids, meds, labs, pelvic exam, and both and external and internal ultrasound. He was an amazing doctor, so sweet and funny as he tried to calm my nerves and joke that I was lucky to get an ultrasound today before my scheduled one on Monday!
Ron and I laughed with him because oddly enough we were calmed by it but as soon as he left I tried to switch my brain and emotions into work mode to help me cope with it all and what news I could get. But deep down I offered up a prayer unlike others ones I have offered up in this situation before.
I thanked our Father and Heaven for allowing me the right that Ron and I could create life, for the pleasure and joy and I have had carrying this precious spirit and as much as I want to continue on that task and sacred mission I understand if this isn't the right time yet. I thanked him for my amazing husband and the support he never fails to give me. Then I asked for only one thing, comfort. Nothing more or less just his comfort for Ron and I. I ended it with my love to him and his son and for all he has blessed us with and that all good things are worth the wait and then thanked him for teaching me that.
When I ended my silent pray a warmth that I have only felt two times before this filled my entire body and even though the fear was still running amok on my senses it didn't seem nearly as bad or as heavy to bear.
So then began the waiting game while the tests, labs, and ultrasound was being done and reviewed. Shockingly this took about two hours which in ER land is an AMAZING time but of course it felt like four lifetimes and in the end I was frankly done with being poked, prodded, and having things stuck in places I would rather they not be!
Finally our bubbly doctor came in, took a seat on the stool next to the bed, and asked me if I wanted the good news or the bad news first. I suck in the air around me and fought hard to control all my emotions that those words brought flooding to the foreground of my mind and heart.
Of course I said bad news because you always get bad news first. He said well from your throwing up a good deal last night (see the Outback post before this one for that story!) you were dehydrated and you had a small cyst on your left ovary that ruptured but it's noting to be worried about because almost all of the free fluid from it your body has already absorbed.
He paused after this and I waited for him to tell me the rest of the bad news. But he looked up from a report sheet in his hand, smiled and said the good news is your pregnant! 6 weeks 5 days, your HCG levels are up and perfect for your gestation, and then he read off of the report some of the most sweetest words I have ever heard!
"A single LIVE intrauterine pregnancy with a crown - rump length of 7.6 mm has a fetal HEART RATE of 118 beats per minute. A 4.5 mm yolk sac is present.
Impression: Single LIVE intrauterine pregnancy at 6 weeks 5 days for an estimated date of delivery of 01/27/2014."
The doctored handed me the report and labs, said congratulations and once your fluids are done we will send you home, and then left the room.
An overwhelming love filled my heart and I offered up another silent prayer to our Father in Heaven thanking him for this wonderful blessing, for his trust in letting us continue this journey with this precious spirit, and for the comfort he provided. I expressed my love for him and his son and their plan and thanked him a hundred more times before ending the prayer.
The fear was gone and this overwhelming peace and assurance filled me as well as longed excitement instead of fear for my OB appointment and ultrasound tomorrow. Even though I still have almost 33 weeks to go until Baby Truex is here I feel so much peace about it now and I hope that it will continue until this pregnancy journey is over and I get to hold my precious baby in my arms!
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